he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I touched a dick in church today
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
