and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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