Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize