Can Purell be used as lube?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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