My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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