My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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