There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize