They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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