I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize