why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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