Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Did I show you my penis last night?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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