she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I deserve this hangover.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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