Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
