I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
