There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
