Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
