Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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