I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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