he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
