You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
i dont even know how to be here
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
