JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
