He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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