the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
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