I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
