I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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