I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
birth control should be required to get into college
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
