If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
