Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
nutella sex= disaster
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
