i wish there were pregnant emoticons
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
