I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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