Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize