She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
