im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Everyone says I win the strip club
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
