dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
