no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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