Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
