Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize