Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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