Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize