please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
