I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
