She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
