I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
