just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
