Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize