Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
