I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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