Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
