Sry I called you an 8
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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