i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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