His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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