he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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