So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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