I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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