something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
