Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
