dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I think people are normalizing furries
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
