I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
