you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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