I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
