on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize