She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
