she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
My ass is underappreciated
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
