do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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