The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
