the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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